Top Myths About Bondage

17 Jan 2022
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If someone utters the word “bondage” in your company, what are your first thoughts? For most, it’s a fringe sexual activity enjoyed by people with major perversions and zero inhibitions, which is also very unhealthy and disturbing, and often even violent. It’s unfortunate really, because fantasties relating to bondage are far more common that people let on.

Let’s bust a few bondage and BDSM myths wide open:

Myth 1: It’s all Black Leather and Whips

There’s a common misconception that the world of BDSM is one of monochrome dark colours, leather materials and harsh-sounding whips. In fact, bondage rope and restraints come in many different shapes, sizes and materials.

There’s an entire treasure chest of tools and toys for people to use, ranging from the extremely simple to the more complex. It’s an area of sexual play that caters to all manner of imagnitive ideas for erotic fun in the bedroom (or elsewhere). The methods of play are equally varied from choking (aka, “breath play”) to tying one another up (aka, “rigging”) and much more.

Regardless of how one chooses to engage with bondage and BDSM, the only real common factor is the idea of an exchange of power. One person becomes more submissive, and the other dominant. That dynamic can manifest in myriad ways, but that is the main area of commonality.

Myth 2: It’s for Maladjusted People

Perhaps the most pervasive of all the myths surrounding bondage is that only the psychologically maladjusted and emotionally disturbed are the ones who are into it. The fact is that huge numbers of people at least think about BDSM, but are put off from expressing that side of their sexuality for fear of being labelled a deviant.

The fact is that generally speaking having a fetish or kink is actually pretty vanilla as the wider population goes. Some of them can seem rather outlandish, but it’s an “each to their own” kind of thing, with as many kinks as there are people to enjoy them. An exciting part of one’s sex life is meeting others who share similar fantasies.

Myth 3: Bondage is All About Humiliation

As we touched on in the first point, it’s true that there is a common sense of a power exchange during bondage play, with one taking on a more dominant role. However, that doesn’t always equate to one partner physically humiliating another in some cliche dominatrix-style session where a leather-bound gagged man is being assaulted with a riding crop and stood on with pointy boots.

We also expanded in the second myth that there are about as many kinds and fetishes as there are people to enjoy and explore them. One person’s real sexual turn-on can be someone else’s utterly innocuous and meaningless everyday situation. It’s therefore quite pointless to try and apply so many standardized labels to bondage play.

Myth 4: There’s Always Pain Involved

While some media has successfully explored the sheer variety of kink and fetish that exists out there, when it comes to bondage there is a common theme of “la douleur exquise” or “the exquisite pain” that comes along with it. Films like “Quills” also play on this theme, with the Marquis de Sade, infamous French libertine who is considered the “father” of bondage and BDSM (even though the concept is far older than him), and his ideas on exquisite pain.

The reality is that sure, some bondage can involve the use of pain, but it is by no means the defining factor. Bondage can be done without even an iota of physical teasing or pain, if that’s something the people involved would prefer.

At the end of the day, when it comes to sex, it’s better to be open to exploring different possibilities rather than being too dismissive.

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