Some of these steps will ask you to examine the relationship as a whole and will require patience and cooperation from your partner. Some of the steps will demand that you turn your attention inward and ask yourself what you desire and expect out of the relationship at hand.
If a lot of time has passed between you and your beau, it’s possible that you’ve both forgotten the key ingredients that made your relationship a success at the beginning. It is also quite possible that you’ve both abandoned the aspects of yourself that attracted your partner in the first place.
1. Realize that sometimes you are the problem.
“It’s not you, it’s me.” We’ve all heard or used this expression before, usually during a breakup. But this is a good expression to think about in the midst of a relationship. If you’re having issues at home, remember that sometimes the problem really is you.
It’s easy to put the blame on someone else, or the particular situation at hand. We often blame our partner for the mishaps or complications in our relationship. It’s usually not our first instinct to investigate our own insecurities or our own stubbornness as being the root of the problem.
Take a second to turn inward and ask yourself what you can do differently to avoid the same problem in the future.
2. Forgive the forgivable mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes. Just because your partner has made one doesn’t necessarily mean he or she is not right for you. This also doesn’t mean that it’s time to give up on them and move on, especially if you’ve created a family together.
Forgiving your partner doesn’t mean you’re lowering your standards. It simply means you understand and accept their flaws, and that you’re giving them a chance to redeem themselves and trusting that they won’t make the same mistake twice.
3. Don’t let the spark die.
Too often we rely on our partners to keep the excitement alive. We blame them when they’ve stopped surprising us like they used to.
Take ownership for the excitement of your own love life. Do a little brainstorming and switch things up. This will not only keep the spark alive, it will inspire your partner to start thinking the same way.
4. Communication is key.
Communicating with both your partner and yourself will create a precise idea of what both of you want out of the relationship. The only thing worse than arguing all the time is never speaking at all. It’s important that you both understand each other’s standards and expectations.
That’s the only way you’ll make an effort living up to them. You can’t blame your partner for lacking in an area he doesn’t even know you expect him to excel at.
5. Understand that everyone is different.
Once you have begun communicating with your partner, you might find that you want and expect very different things out of the relationship. One of you may desire more physical attention, while the other is looking for more communication. You may not always agree upon what the relationship is lacking and what will improve it overall.
Nonetheless, you must accept the fact that you have your differences and you should be willing to meet in the middle.
6. Compromise (only) when necessary.
Sometimes, love means compromise. With that said, you should never compromise over things you wholeheartedly don’t agree with, or wholeheartedly believe in.
If the compromise will smooth out any large wrinkles in the relationship, or benefit the happiness of your partner without ruining your own wellbeing, then it’s probably worth it.
If it means saving your relationship, a relationship that you truly admire and hold dear, then it can’t hurt to try.